P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
