I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Come share oat with me in your robe
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
