Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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