i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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