I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
