i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
