Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Drunk is a universal language darling
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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