Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
