If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
