He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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