I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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