my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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