My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
should my penis look like a turkey
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
