nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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