I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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