I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
