This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
