He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
