i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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