I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
