i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
