he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
