You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
