i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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