My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
