I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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