it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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