This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
