He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
