shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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