Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
