Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
