He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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