The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
