she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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