I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
