Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
