we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize