PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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