My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I supernannyed him into submission
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize