dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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