I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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