I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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