I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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