Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
