Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
