We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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