Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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