Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize