im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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