i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
