You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
