just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
