nut hugger
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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