she was so not down for the gang bang
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
