So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
