Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
