did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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