Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
