There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize