its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
