on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
send nudes
from the living room?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
