Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
